Unfair as Fair May Be
by vanity is my name
Summary: For the first time Remus Lupin has friends. But what’ll happen if when his feelings spiral out of control? Hopefully the story is better than the summary. My first SLASH fic. Eventual Remus & Sirius. Please R&R! I'll love u 4ever!
1. Year 1

Title: Unfair as fair may be

Summary: For the first time Remus Lupin has friends. But what'll happen if when his feelings spiral out of control? Hopefully the story is better than the summary. My first SLASH fic. Eventual Remus & Sirius

Rating: PG (I'm not too dirty…I think…)

**A/N: PLEASE READ THIS!!!! Like I said, the slash is eventual. I'm gonna do chapters by years in Hogwarts. Well, I guess that this wasn't that important…Oh, well. I hope you like the story. Please R&R!!! Gratzi! Gracias! Thank you!**

The small boy grunted with exertion as he pulled his trunk, thumping, up the stairs into the school train.

"Do you need help?" The boy, one eleven year old Remus Jonathan Lupin, spun to face the speaker, hand moving to his wand in case it was another troublemaker bent on hurting him because of what he was. Like it was _his_ fault. However, the face that watched him was only filled with sincere concern and curiosity. Remus pondered for a moment.

"Yes, please. I would greatly appreciate it and be in your debt if you assist me in moving my trunk to…" he faltered, "um, somewhere…" His attempt at sounding polite and formal failed dismally when he realized he had nowhere to sit. The helpful boy must have realized his dilemma and offered him a spot in the compartment he occupied that Remus happily accepted. After Remus' trunk was carefully stowed away, he took a seat near the window, the helpful boy sat across from him. An awkward silence fell thorough out the compartment.

"I'm Sirius Black." The boy said stretching his hand out for Remus to shake. He grasped it lightly.

"R-R-Remus L-Lupin." Was all he said because his heart was contracting with fear. His mother had told him about the 'most ancient and noble house of Black'. She told him how they all had the right idea. How he should be ashamed of what he was because the precious _Black family_ wouldn't approve. He drew his legs up to him like a wounded animal at the thought of his parents. Sirius watched the boy, worried.

However, Sirius took this opportunity to observe his new friend. The boy was small, much smaller than an eleven year old should be. He had light brown hair with subtle blond highlights. Sirius was entranced by the other boy's eyes. They ere filled with intelligence but also fear. They had a mix of blue, green, gold and gray all mixed together to create a storm in his eyes and a flurry of color every time he blinked. He had a slightly rounded chin that was strong and stubborn and an average, slightly pointed nose. But the thing that troubled Sirius the most was the scars that littered the boy's skin.

Suddenly the compartment door slid open startling Sirius out of his reveries and making Remus jump like the Advada Kedavra spell had been fired at him. It took a moment for Sirius to see who it was, but when he did, he jumped up with a joyful yell, arms outstretched to the newcomer.

"James!" The two exchanged brotherly hugs. Sirius turned to Remus who had unsuccessfully tried to shrink into the shadows.

"Remus, this is James Potter. We've been best mates since we were the size of house elves." They grinned at each other. "we've been causing trouble since about that size, as well. James, this is my new friend Remus Lupin." James and Remus exchanged pleasant nods before Remus went back to staring out the window. As the train continued on to Hogwarts, Remus listened idly to whatever Sirius and James were talking about. However, his thoughts were on what Sirius said. _Friend_. No one had ever called him a friend before… This happy thought carried him all the way through the trip and across the lake to Hogwarts. However, his mood diminished considerably when he entered the castle behind the strict woman with the tight bun. She led them into the great hall past all the other students. Remus swore that they all had their eyes trained on him. That they all knew his secret. Suddenly, he took notice of a battered wizard's hat atop a three legged stool and began to wonder why it was there when a large rip, acting as a mouth for what should be an inanimate object, opened and it began to sing. It sang of how all should be friends with one another and of how prejudices should be forgotten and of how at first, even the creators of Hogwarts had had no prejudices against one another. When its song ended, the woman held up a scroll that Remus had failed to notice before.

"When I call your name you will come up and put the sorting hat on. It will put you into the house that you will excel in." She paused, opening the scroll, "Avery, Donald!" The boy settled the hat onto his head and a moment later, it shouted that he was to join Slytherin. After two more first years, (Alabaxter and Bartolomew who both joined Hufflepuff) it was Sirius' turn. He sat on the stool, shifting nervously.

"Hmmm…" a small voice said into his ear. "How odd…" _Odd?_ Sirius thought. "Yes, odd…" the voice continued, "a black who not only doesn't want to be in Slytherin, but doesn't belong there either… Well, in that case, GRYFFINDOR!!!!!" Nearly fainting with relief, Sirius took off the hat and ran to the table that had erupted with cheers ignoring, or perhaps not even noticing the Slytherins muttering with one another. 3 Ravenclaws, 2 Slytherins, and 2 Gryffindors later, it was Remus' turn. He as well was sorted into Gryffindor as was Sirius' friend James.

"Who d'you think _she_ is?" James asked Remus and Sirius during the feast. He was staring unabashedly (one might say rudely) at an attractive red headed girl sitting a bit farther down the table.

"Lily Evans." Remus answered, helping himself to the apple pie in front of him.

"How do you know?" James demanded eagerly, "Do you know her?"

"No, Jamsie." Sirius interrupted. "He was paying attention during the sorting ceremony. She's a first year like us." Remus nodded the affirmative, mouth stuffed.

"Lily Evans…" James repeated slowly, as though tasting the name and finding it very good, indeed. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Great. Now we'll have to deal with this obsession for the rest of our lives!" He exclaimed, groaning. Remus suddenly got scared. He had come to the conclusion that Sirius, unlike the rest of the Black Family, was a decent person and Remus wanted to be his friend. But now, however, he was terrified that Sirius wouldn't want to be his friend because Remus had gotten him angry.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, "I-I didn't mean- wait, we?"

"Of course 'we'! You're our friend Friends always listen to the insane and pointless thoughts and obsessions of other friends."

"Oh, right." Was all Remus could say with an insane joy bubbling up inside of him making it hard to not through his arms around Sirius.

Remus lay in bed later that night listening to the snores of the other three boys sharing his room. Sirius lay in the bed next to him while James lay in the bed across from him and the trio's new friend, Peter Pettigrew, lay in the bed across from Sirius. As he listened to the other boys sleep, he thought about how much their friendships meant to him. And, even though Remus felt that by now he should've been reassured that they were his friends, he worried over what would happen if ever they were to discover his secret. No one of sane mind would ever want to be friends with a werewolf.

Four months later, most of Remus' insecurities had been destroyed. He knew that he had the three best friends in the world and if they ever wondered where he went once a month, they never asked, respecting his privacy. They had almost immediately formed the marauders, a band of mischievous pranksters with many a flawless trick to set Hogwarts on its ear. Ideas were constant flowing in the group always being run by Remus as he was the most logical and could usually point out a flaw in the plan. On one sunny (but cold and wintry day) the marauders were huddled in the common room discussing a possible prank they would like to pull. After it was all planned out, Sirius suggested that it be pulled on the full moon in two days and was met by pleased affirmatives by both James and Peter. Remus, however, paled considerably.

"You guys go ahead. I think that I'll just sit this one out." Sirius looked at his comrade curiously.

"But why, Remus?"

"Because," Remus said slowly, hating having to lie to his best friends, "Because my mum is very ill. I need to go see her."

"Oh."

However, the marauders knew that their friend was hiding something and followed him as he left the school under James' invisibility cloak. Instead of heading for the train station, he started off across the grounds towards a tree that seemed to be waving its branches wildly despite the lack of wind. Remus took hold of a large stick a poked a dark knot at the base of the tree and the branches stopped moving. He then disappeared down a hidden tunnel, the marauders continued after him. At the end of the tunnel, they watched as Remus stripped his robes off and sat down on the floor, shivering and completely naked. Sirius stepped out from under the cloak, startling Remus.

"Mate, what are you doing?" he asked. He stepped back, startled, as he glimpsed the feral look in Remus' eyes.

"What are you doing?" Remus moaned. "Why did you follow me? You need to leave now! Hurry, before I…"

"Sirius!" James stuck his head out from under the cloak. "He's a werewolf! We need to leave!" Sirius looked back at Remus.

"Mate?" Remus nodded, a mix of emotions in his eyes. Sadness fear, rage, regret. "Don't worry, Remus. We're still your friends. I promise." Relief flooded the boys face.

"Thank you. But, please, go. The transformation will begin soon." The boys left not knowing that this secret being uncovered had destroyed the last of Remus' paranoia and made his problem almost bearable.

**Alright. I know that wasn't too good. I hope that the other chapters will be better. I hope you liked it! Again please review. It will be very much appreciated! Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you, rekahneko, for your review! I really enjoyed it!**

The marauders finished up their first year without incident (provided that you don't count the detentions received from pranks.), even though Peter, Sirius, and James secretly searched for a way to make Remus' transformations better and more bearable.

Over the next two years, Remus began to feel a fuzzy warm feeling whenever he looked at Sirius. At first, he simply dismissed it for the fact that Sirius was his first friend and it was just joy and pride that filled him head to toe. But then it got worse. He was no longer able to look at Sirius without thinking of what it would be like to be one of his girlfriends; running fingers through his hair, kissing him, being kissed by him. Because of this, there was many a night when Remus would sit in one of the armchairs by the fire in the Gryffindor common room pretending to read while really he was watching Sirius as he played exploding snap or wizard's chess with Peter and James. However, Sirius mistook this seclusion for loneliness and informed him that he "needed a bird" by setting him up on a date with an attractive Hufflepuff called Merlyn at the beginning of their fourth year. Remus tried as hard as he could to get the relationship to work until he really cared for her.

One night, midway through fourth year, Sirius and James, almost always on the same brainwave, woke up and stole down to the kitchens for a midnight snack. They were on their way back to the dorm rooms when an angry voice sounded from below the landing above the grand staircase.

"Get away from me!" The boys stopped dead in their tracks. Although they couldn't quite place it, the voice was familiar, and although they couldn't hear quite hear what was said in response, they could tell that the responder was Remus and that he was quite upset.

"I don't care how much you care for me! If I had known you were a _monster _I wouldn't have bothered trying to date you! I only ever wanted Sirius anyway!!" Now Remus found his voice.

"You used me?" Sirius' heart broke right where he stood. It was his entire fault. He had set them up.

"Well, you don't think I actually _liked_ you, did you?" There was a pause. "I can't believe that the headmaster let you in here knowing what you were a werewolf! Once my mum and dad find out…." Sirius and James took off, dropping all their food, to go to their friend's rescue. But a loud resounding call of "OBLIVIATE!" beat them to it.

When they reached Remus, Merlyn lay on the ground, knocked out from the force of the spell. Remus was on his knees, shaking from silent sobs. James and Sirius supported either side of him, carrying him up to the dorm where Peter was still sleeping. Knowing that Sirius was closer to Remus, James retired to his bed across the room. Sirius sat on Remus' bed, his back against the headboard, staring at his friend's back unsure of what to do.

"Why, Sirius? Why do I always lose the people I truly care about?"

"You don't, Remus. Unless, of course, you don't care about Peter, James and me." He paused. "Is that it, Remus? You don't care?" For some reason, this bothered Sirius. If Remus said no, he was sure that he would cry. He couldn't explain why, though.

"I care, Sirius." He leaned, resting his back on Sirius' shoulder. "Thanks. You are absolutely right." He turned to face Sirius, ending up a little closer than he meant. Sirius wondered what would happen if he just stretched his neck a little further…Remus was so close. Remus cleared his throat. "We should, um, go to bed now. Classes tomorrow." Sirius almost said no. He almost said that they should stay the way they were. Then he wondered what was wrong with him. They went to bed. Remus fell asleep rather quickly though Sirius lay awake staring at his set of hangings separating him from Remus' hangings which was separating him from Remus and puzzling over this newfound feeling.

Remus never really recovered from the scarring loss of his girlfriend over his illness. But it helped a considerable amount when James, Peter, and Sirius surprised him one full moon in their fifth year by hopping out from under the invisibility cloak. He protested saying they were going to be hurt when they decided to enlighten him with their newest talents of turning into animals. They had become anamagi for him. After the transformation, when Remus looked at Sirius in his human form, a roaring filled his ears like that of an alpha dog claiming his mate. And though Sirius experienced the same thing only Remus understood it fro what it really was. He was in love a bloke and his best mate.

Few months later, Moony was leaving for the shrieking shack through the front doors when Sirius, who was heading up to the Gryffindor common room to tell the others it was time to go, saw Severus Snape. Over the years, Snape had become a bit of a target for the marauders because of his sneaky nature and because he was a Slytherin. He had become so much of their plaything that he had heard the nickname-

"SNIVELLUS! Hey, Snivellus!" Sirius called. He caught up to him, throwing his arm about Snape's shoulders as though they were friends.

"Don't touch me!" he spat. "I don't want your blood traitor scum all over me!"

"Now, Snivellus, we've been through this. I'm no more a blood traitor than you are a greasy, slimy, evil, git! Oh, I guess I am a blood traitor, then."

"I don't know where your little friend goes every month but I'll find out." Snape said quickly changing topics. He saw Sirius pale and knew that he had struck a nerve. "Actually, I think I'll find out now." He ran out of the doors towards the whomping willow where he could see Lupin disappearing among the oddly calm branches. He was halfway there when Sirius grabbed his shoulder, spun him around, and punched him as hard as he could. So hard, in fact, that Snape spit a tooth out along with a decent amount of blood.

"You want to see where he goes every month?" He asked furiously. "Maybe if you do, you'll learn to keep your abnormally long nose out of other people's business!" He didn't even pause to realize that he was starting to think like Remus, saying things that he would say. He clenched Snape's shoulder as though it would fall off and marched him towards the whomping willow and down into the tunnel leading to the shrieking shack. He led Snape all the way to the part where the tunnel met the house. Snape watched, horrified, as Remus transformed from the smart Gryffindor boy that everyone knew him as into a monster werewolf that would be feared by everyone if only they knew. He was suddenly yanked back and pulled out of the whomping willow by James who had watched Sirius drag him to the shack.

"Speak one word of this to anyone and I'll hex you to a time when slimy little scum bags like you are killed brutally for living. Now, go!" Snape, now thoroughly terrified, ran to the castle without a second thought. James turned on Sirius. "You! How dare you betray a fellow marauder like that?" Sirius looked down, properly ashamed. "You will be the one to tell him!" When Sirius did finally admit what he did the next morning, Remus didn't yell, he didn't cry. But his silence was worse. He simply fixed Sirius with a look a broken hearted boy might have.

Sixth year was the best and the worst for Remus. It was a long, treacherous road, but slowly Sirius began to regain Remus' trust. Also, Remus had the nickname Moony bestowed upon him by the other marauders while James took the nickname Prongs, Peter now called himself Wormtail, and Sirius referred to himself as Padfoot. In fact, he liked this nickname so much, he was often seen referring to himself in the third person. His transformations were easier now that the other marauders spent every full moon with him. But now he had another secret that no one could know. Not ever. And he planned to keep it a secret for that long were it not for Lily Evans, James' obsession for the past six years. And it happened in their seventh year.

**A/N: Alright, so what do you think? I hope everyone liked it!**

** Vanity**


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